my favorite song

this is a song i would like to share with all my readers out there, whoever you may be. I think its a song that really helps you to see you're own beauty, and allows you to be comfortable with who you are. It is my "theme song" to my life. Bomshel is also my favorite band, because they write such powerful songs and sing them soooo amazingly. Look them up! They're great!

after so long.... I'M BACK :)

hello everyone :) after not blogging for so long, i'm back. now, my target will be less on girls body images, and more on how we can work on building our self confidence. i have seen so many girls get destroyed by the envy of other girls. like my first blog post stated, its a girl eat girl world out there. i wish we could solve this problem, but maybe we can. by taking small steps, like instead of envying other girls and hating them for what we don't have and they do, why can't we compliment each other and point out each others strengths? we are all beautiful inside and out, and we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. for instance, english was never my forte. not really english, but reading. (but i love writing as you might be able to tell...) I HATE READING! why? because i was never a fast reader, and i get bored of a book very easy. the only books that i can speed read through are ones that i can somehow relate to my life. reading was always a huge weakness of mine, while writing was always a strength. and although it was a weakness, i never let it stop me. we have to be confident in our strengths, and accept our weaknesses. so to work on battling this girl eat girl world together, i offer you a small challenge. when you're on facebook, or hanging out with a group of girls, maybe some you don't know so well, give at least one TRUE compliment per day. turn envy into a good source of happiness. giving another girl a smile and a little boost of confidence can go a long when. on the other end of that, when you receive a compliment, instead of saying NOO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! think about what is being said, and say thank you. really let that compliment sink in. no, that girl wasn't lying to you when she said you were beautiful or that you're hair was perfect. you really are, and it really is.


"Success makes so many people hate you. I wish it wasn't that way. It would be wonderful to enjoy success without seeing envy in the eyes of those around you."
— Marilyn Monroe

Portia De Rossi on her eating disorder

The girl who takes the hardest hit

Although I've been trying to keep my posts open to the images of both girls and guys, this post is definitely going to be more girl oriented. Not all I want to do here is talking about the problems that the media causes, but I also want to offer a source of inspiration to keep going despite the bumps in the road we come across with hating our appearance. And, maybe I've talked to much about appearances. I know when it come to me, I didn't only hate myself for the way I looked, but for the things I did. For instance, "why did I say that?!" or "why did I give up that chance?" In the end, it all turned back to the girl who was staring back at me in the mirror. She was the girl I said the nastiest things about. After comparing myself constantly to the girls in magazine and all the girls that were my so called, "friends" on facebook popping up on my news feed, seeming to have perfect lives, my tongue was always certainly harsh towards that girl in the mirror. The thing about it is, just like everyone else in the world, she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve those destroying words just as much as the next girl didn't. And even though I knew that, she was the easiest of all targets, and it was almost addicting to hate her. One time I looked at that girl in the mirror, and all i could see was pain in her eyes. Thats when I knew I had to start treating her right. I started out simple. A little smile in the mirror, instead of grabbing at my stomach. The hardest part about it was not saying one bad thing about my self. But overtime, I began to see the true beauty shining through this girl that seemed to be hidden under a concrete wall of hate for so long. I won't say it was easy, it wasn't. It took me 9 months to have complete self confidence, and even then, there are still times when I want to say the "omg your skin looks horrible!" Instead, I just walk away from the mirror. She doesn't deserve that criticism. I know many girls go through the same thing I have, and even if you don't think you can make the change in your life to love yourself, YOU CAN!! Take it from me. I'll be your (almost) daily motivation. The girl in the mirror doesn't deserve what she's getting right now. She deserves confidence and love from the person that matters most, you.

the perfect you

Since I've been talking alot about body image and eating disorders, I'd like to throw in another way that people try to fit in. Plastic surgery. Whether is lyposuction, a nose job, etc, plastic surgery is all over the place. But recently, plastic surgery in teens has been especially on the rise, from about 306,000 in 2000, to about 333,000 in 2005 (Kids Health). I'm sure the numbers are much higher now. The reason? Trying to fit in. Girls under the age of 18 are going under the knife daily to try to fit in with that image of "perfection." Now what I have to say to this, is WHAT ARE THEIR PARENTS THINKING!? I don't understand how any sane parent would allow their young daughter or son to do this to themselves. Some say, "It makes it where I don't have to become anorexic." Well, honestly, you dont need to become anorexic or have lyposuction. What you need is to learn to accept who you are, and build confidence in the person that you are. From a religious stand point, God made you who you are because that's the person that He wants you to be. Learning to accept that you are who you are is truly the only way that any teen can have a healthy relationship with him or her self, or anyone else. My mother has always told me that "To love someone else, you first have to love yourself." So really, in any relationship whether it be a friend or a partner, you have to love yourself so you can give love, because you can't give what you don't have. Instead of working to be what the media defines as perfect, why can't we each define what our own perfect is? My perfect me is exactly who I am... blonde hair, blue eyes, my skins not perfect but it doesn't bother me. I'm 5'9" and yes, I have curves because me and food have a great relationship. My perfect me is healthy, not starving, and not obese. Thats who I am. I love who I am, and I'm confident that this is who I want to be. I won't lie and say I always accepted who I am. I'm no exception to to the pressure of the media. Everytime I looked in the mirror, my thought pattern went something like this. "ugh what is going on with your skin? and did you gain weight again! you should not have had that ice cream last night! your teeth are getting yellow, your eyes are too gray, and you're to tall. Great. getting paler by the day... now you're completely translucent." It takes time and practice to be able to look in the mirror and say "you really are beautiful," instead of "wow i look disgusting." So my challenge for all you readers, is to practice pointing out the good things about yourself everytime you look in the mirror, whether its small or big. Sounds pretty easy so far right? Now here's the hard part. You can NOT think or say one bad thing about yourself when you look in that mirror. Instead, smile at yourself, and begin to realize that you truly are beautiful. Everyone is beautiful in their own ways, shapes, and forms. And overtime, you won't just be trying to convince yourself of your beauty, but you'll actually begin to see it, and feel it. You don't need plastic surgery to artificially change yourself, you don't need to starve yourself, or constantly be worrying about your so called flaws, you just need to practice loving your perfect self.  The media doesn't know anything about what perfect is, like I said, they're just trying to save money on fabric ;)

pro anorexia websites.

As i said in a pervious blog, pro-anorexia websites. Yes, though we all believe they shouldn't, they do exist. This is a post I found on one of the websites. www.pro-thinspo.com. I am not posting this website to support anorexia, but rather in disbelief that such a thing does exist. How can our country let such destroying but seemingly inviting words be accessible to young girls who are already fighting to survive a world of too skinny being attractive?

Anas insight
Insight is the best way to improve ...
You have to learn to eat to hate!

Only when you realize ...
that it is the reason for your flabby belly ...
because it does not fit that you desire in your size ...
that you further and further away from a good feeling in a bikini ...
Anas purity
I have a question for you.
What would you prefer -
Stretch marks all over your belly or feel that your bikini panties slips ?
What do you think , looks better -
someone who eats a fat Sahneeisbecher or iced drink of water?
Who has a long barrel the longer breath?
What would you advise someone to go to the hips , a big belly or legs 
that rub together when ?
What is pure, ice cream or cold water?
You want to be pure ...
So you must choose the water!
Make water your best friend close, with sticky cola and soft drinks , 
beer and so on for good. They ruin your teeth and your health and 
pollute your body.
Let the spoon fall and brace dumbbells.
Do not clean your plate with a fork, but the napkin.
Listen up, stuff everything indiscriminately into yourself .
There is always a variant of calories .
Always.
Eat fresh and pure food.
Although an empty bowl is better than one filled with raw vegetables!
Gift will come from your body.
You will again be able to be free, will cast off the ropes that keep you at 
the bottom.
You will forget unwanted memories.
You will forget fears.
The thinner , more delicate and thinner you get, the more your beauty 
is visible, which is better than any ice cream in the world.
You'll turn you into an Ana - beauty.
Your bones are golden.
You will know what is purity and victory.
You 'll know what it is like to live on air and sunlight.
You 'll know what it is like to go to hell and back.
And you 'll know what it is like to go to bed hungry .
The most uncomfortable feeling in the world ...
You 're really ...
powerful ...
selected ...
fearless ....
pure ...
in total control ...
easy! !
You are Ana!




Is this really a message we want young girls in our country receiving? That they can only drink water so they can be skinny? I find this entire post rather disgusting and disturbing. Websites like this one support girls who are anorexic to keep being anorexic, when really, they should be getting help for their disorders.

that's hott..... not.

Hott.

Not.

Women and men are constantly trying to fit in with the media's image of what's perfect, when really, there is no direct definition of what perfect is. The media gives us an image of the perfect attractiveness, girls with no fat on their body, perfect shiny flowing hair, flawless skin, etc etc, and guys that are strong, tall, dark, and handsome. The media is like this fantasy realm of human beings that don't exist without photoshop. Now coming back to reality, perfect is different in everyone's eye. When I asked my brother what he describe as the perfect girl, the first thing he said was "a girl that can cook for me." Ah, the old fashion "a way to a man's heart is through his stomach" type. And when I asked a good friend what he thought the perfect girl was, he said "I'll know when I see her." So maybe it's just that I have a lot of great guys in my life, but from what i gather, guys aren't always thinking about what a girl looks like on the outside. Not to say physical appearance isn't important, but it is not the main concern of most guys. Now from a girls perspective, I know that we all say the classic "HE'S HOTT!" but that's not all that girls look for in a guy. Really, I know at least for me, personality and inner qualities is the thing that makes it or breaks it. So why are we so concerned with what is attractive and what's not??! Now back to that realm created by the media, we all see hundreds of advertisements a day... on signs, billboards, tv, internet, movies, etc. The media has a goal of trying to make us believe that this is whats attractive, even though I personally have never seen anyone looking as "flawless" in real life as they are in all of the media sources. Why do we let people who are of no important to us, who probably only have half a brain, decide what is and isn't attractive? Most models would say, "Skinny Sells." Dove may beg to differ, because they're still rolling in the money while using real women as their models. Maybe its because those stick figure models save the designers money on fabric. Bet ya never thought of that one before. Time changes so quickly, and I guarantee what's attractive now will not be attractive in 20, 10, or even 5 years from now.