too sexy, too soon?

With Aerie's recently release of a push up bra that is targeted at girls as young as 13, some parents are furious. The bra was released with the idea that it would help girls feel "pretty." Although this idea seems reasonable, I found the thought of 13 years olds wearing push up bras a little off. There is a time in every women's life when she should be feeling sexy, and I don't believe being 13 is the right time for that. I believe that the push up bra will only draw negative attention to the girls, which will in turn make them feel worse about themselves. Whether that attention is negative from older men believing that the 13 year old girls are trying to make themselves look older, or from other girls calling them sluts.... it will all hurt. This may not always be the case, but I can recount several times in my life when I had been called a slut, and several times I had used the word to refer to other girls... I can say from experience, that word hurts. Showing to much skin, or too much cleavage can easily be the cause of that. "look at her! she's dressed like a complete slut!" I can already hear the words echoing down middle school hallways. So I say, lets save the sexy for girl later in their teen years, and to all those 13 year old girls out there, enjoy being a kid while you still can. Trust me, life is much easier there!

an email i recieved....

Let’s get something straight right now.

You are not:

Your body.

Your job.

Your money.

Your possessions.

Your thoughts.

Your fears.

Your self-image.

A victim.

Other people’s opinion of you.

You are:

Love.

A unique expression of the energy of The Uni-verse.

A spiritual being having a human experience.

Creative.

Beautiful.

Connected to abundance, always.

Here to give.

There are TONS of people with LOTS of money who are not happy. There are TONS of people with NO money who are happy. If you’re like me, you want to have  enough money and be happy. To me, that is freedom. To be happy in the world with the freedom to do what I want whenever I want, but also to know that I am in this world but not of this world, and so, not have the world and it’s “things” bog me down.

The implications of the statements made above are this: live your purpose, not your fears. When you live a life and make decisions based on what brings you joy, and then share that joy with others (this is what it means to live your purpose), then things work out. They may get rough at first, or painful (just like pushing out a splinter is painful), but the pain will pass and you will see that you are living a magical life.

If you are not those things listed above and you are the things that are listed, then what would that mean? It would mean that you could cast off the so called “weight of the world”, forget about what “other people” think and train your mind and body to rise above your fears. It means that you could take massive action daily towards living your purpose (aka your dreams) and that it would work out. It would mean that you could face your fears and actually RISE ABOVE THEM by doing so.

It means that you are free to express your love however you feel it should be expressed. It means you have everything you need, and if it is not now here in your life, it will show up exactly when you need it.

See yourself as already connected to everything you desire. You do not need to “create” anything really. All you have to do is move around what The Uni-verse has already created for you to match your desire. You are lacking nothing; you are connected to everything. Surrender the thoughts of fear, lack and limitation and dive deep into possibility. Live from possibility.

Act from possibility and you will soon experience the impossible as possible. Don’t give any attention to what other people think; stay silently true to your dream and let them watch.

Live your life and dreams knowing that some other people won’t understand what you are doing, that struggle is really a way for you to become stronger and that anything is possible when you remember who you really are. Let go of who you are not and dwell in possibility.

my favorite song

this is a song i would like to share with all my readers out there, whoever you may be. I think its a song that really helps you to see you're own beauty, and allows you to be comfortable with who you are. It is my "theme song" to my life. Bomshel is also my favorite band, because they write such powerful songs and sing them soooo amazingly. Look them up! They're great!

after so long.... I'M BACK :)

hello everyone :) after not blogging for so long, i'm back. now, my target will be less on girls body images, and more on how we can work on building our self confidence. i have seen so many girls get destroyed by the envy of other girls. like my first blog post stated, its a girl eat girl world out there. i wish we could solve this problem, but maybe we can. by taking small steps, like instead of envying other girls and hating them for what we don't have and they do, why can't we compliment each other and point out each others strengths? we are all beautiful inside and out, and we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. for instance, english was never my forte. not really english, but reading. (but i love writing as you might be able to tell...) I HATE READING! why? because i was never a fast reader, and i get bored of a book very easy. the only books that i can speed read through are ones that i can somehow relate to my life. reading was always a huge weakness of mine, while writing was always a strength. and although it was a weakness, i never let it stop me. we have to be confident in our strengths, and accept our weaknesses. so to work on battling this girl eat girl world together, i offer you a small challenge. when you're on facebook, or hanging out with a group of girls, maybe some you don't know so well, give at least one TRUE compliment per day. turn envy into a good source of happiness. giving another girl a smile and a little boost of confidence can go a long when. on the other end of that, when you receive a compliment, instead of saying NOO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! think about what is being said, and say thank you. really let that compliment sink in. no, that girl wasn't lying to you when she said you were beautiful or that you're hair was perfect. you really are, and it really is.


"Success makes so many people hate you. I wish it wasn't that way. It would be wonderful to enjoy success without seeing envy in the eyes of those around you."
— Marilyn Monroe

Portia De Rossi on her eating disorder

The girl who takes the hardest hit

Although I've been trying to keep my posts open to the images of both girls and guys, this post is definitely going to be more girl oriented. Not all I want to do here is talking about the problems that the media causes, but I also want to offer a source of inspiration to keep going despite the bumps in the road we come across with hating our appearance. And, maybe I've talked to much about appearances. I know when it come to me, I didn't only hate myself for the way I looked, but for the things I did. For instance, "why did I say that?!" or "why did I give up that chance?" In the end, it all turned back to the girl who was staring back at me in the mirror. She was the girl I said the nastiest things about. After comparing myself constantly to the girls in magazine and all the girls that were my so called, "friends" on facebook popping up on my news feed, seeming to have perfect lives, my tongue was always certainly harsh towards that girl in the mirror. The thing about it is, just like everyone else in the world, she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve those destroying words just as much as the next girl didn't. And even though I knew that, she was the easiest of all targets, and it was almost addicting to hate her. One time I looked at that girl in the mirror, and all i could see was pain in her eyes. Thats when I knew I had to start treating her right. I started out simple. A little smile in the mirror, instead of grabbing at my stomach. The hardest part about it was not saying one bad thing about my self. But overtime, I began to see the true beauty shining through this girl that seemed to be hidden under a concrete wall of hate for so long. I won't say it was easy, it wasn't. It took me 9 months to have complete self confidence, and even then, there are still times when I want to say the "omg your skin looks horrible!" Instead, I just walk away from the mirror. She doesn't deserve that criticism. I know many girls go through the same thing I have, and even if you don't think you can make the change in your life to love yourself, YOU CAN!! Take it from me. I'll be your (almost) daily motivation. The girl in the mirror doesn't deserve what she's getting right now. She deserves confidence and love from the person that matters most, you.

the perfect you

Since I've been talking alot about body image and eating disorders, I'd like to throw in another way that people try to fit in. Plastic surgery. Whether is lyposuction, a nose job, etc, plastic surgery is all over the place. But recently, plastic surgery in teens has been especially on the rise, from about 306,000 in 2000, to about 333,000 in 2005 (Kids Health). I'm sure the numbers are much higher now. The reason? Trying to fit in. Girls under the age of 18 are going under the knife daily to try to fit in with that image of "perfection." Now what I have to say to this, is WHAT ARE THEIR PARENTS THINKING!? I don't understand how any sane parent would allow their young daughter or son to do this to themselves. Some say, "It makes it where I don't have to become anorexic." Well, honestly, you dont need to become anorexic or have lyposuction. What you need is to learn to accept who you are, and build confidence in the person that you are. From a religious stand point, God made you who you are because that's the person that He wants you to be. Learning to accept that you are who you are is truly the only way that any teen can have a healthy relationship with him or her self, or anyone else. My mother has always told me that "To love someone else, you first have to love yourself." So really, in any relationship whether it be a friend or a partner, you have to love yourself so you can give love, because you can't give what you don't have. Instead of working to be what the media defines as perfect, why can't we each define what our own perfect is? My perfect me is exactly who I am... blonde hair, blue eyes, my skins not perfect but it doesn't bother me. I'm 5'9" and yes, I have curves because me and food have a great relationship. My perfect me is healthy, not starving, and not obese. Thats who I am. I love who I am, and I'm confident that this is who I want to be. I won't lie and say I always accepted who I am. I'm no exception to to the pressure of the media. Everytime I looked in the mirror, my thought pattern went something like this. "ugh what is going on with your skin? and did you gain weight again! you should not have had that ice cream last night! your teeth are getting yellow, your eyes are too gray, and you're to tall. Great. getting paler by the day... now you're completely translucent." It takes time and practice to be able to look in the mirror and say "you really are beautiful," instead of "wow i look disgusting." So my challenge for all you readers, is to practice pointing out the good things about yourself everytime you look in the mirror, whether its small or big. Sounds pretty easy so far right? Now here's the hard part. You can NOT think or say one bad thing about yourself when you look in that mirror. Instead, smile at yourself, and begin to realize that you truly are beautiful. Everyone is beautiful in their own ways, shapes, and forms. And overtime, you won't just be trying to convince yourself of your beauty, but you'll actually begin to see it, and feel it. You don't need plastic surgery to artificially change yourself, you don't need to starve yourself, or constantly be worrying about your so called flaws, you just need to practice loving your perfect self.  The media doesn't know anything about what perfect is, like I said, they're just trying to save money on fabric ;)